influencing behavior through communication and social interaction
For the purposes of this article, influence can be defined as a force that when exerted results in an effect on one’s environment or others within the environment. This article will discuss the most commonly used forms of influence in communication, and is in no way intended to be a comprehensive set of instructions that outline the utilization of any and all forms of influence. I will, however, attempt to use language of very broad and general nature wherever possible in order to allow for the application of these principals to varied situations and circumstances. I hope to cover the basic dynamics of how and why influence is translated between individual members of a society and how to utilize these rules to exert influence that will result in a desired and predetermined effect.
As social creatures one of our highest priorities is acceptance within a desired social group and the avoidance of social ostracization. In the absence of a threat to one’s existence, this desire is the primary motivator for most outwardly active behaviors. Social pressures present us with expectations and place us within scenes in which our actions provide the realization of common archetypes shared by our social group.
It is this desire to eliminate negative social pressure while attaining social gratification within the target of our influence that allows us to present a value propositon as an interaction between these archetypes that captivates your target and uses their own social conditioning to reenforce their desire to respond and react in certain predetermined ways in order to fulfill what they consider expected behavioral requirements. These requirements are determined by the role they are projecting within whatever social group is most directly responsible for their self image within the prescribed scene.
Some of the most commonly used influential traits are; confidence, trustworthiness, friendliness, intensity, etc. but, in fact, the very opposite traits can also be used to exert influence in the proper relational context. Although mystery and intrigue itself can be an influential factor, for the purpose of promoting a concise directive, a definitive and well stated stance and statement of character should be the basis on which your influential relationship is founded.
You must remember that your character is defined solely by the presence and form of the sensory stimuli delivered by whatever medium is being utilized within the context of the contact. All aspects of this medium as well as any other outside factor, condition, or circumstance should be considered and utilized to the fullest extent possible when scripting any exchange that takes place during the contact. This consideration and control of the entire “scene” affords you the highest level of influence over your target.
Direct influence is most efficiently achieved by boiling down your desired reaction into a basic value proposition, engaging the target of your desired influence in direct communication about this value proposition as a character within specified relationship, and ultimately garnering intellectual agreement with the value proposition that manifests an emotionally motivated physical action.
In order to maximize tangible results, influential communication should encourage and direct it’s target toward a preconceived process or system that will completely facilitate the desired result; the “action step”. It is this action step that must guide the design and implementation of all scripted exchanges that take place between your character and your target. (your character includes any and all factors that can be utilized by you to control the context and framework for presenting the iconic representation of the most basic idea your value proposal represents)
Since the desired outcome of the “contact” has been predetermined; (the “action step”), the contact should be plotted out and scripted with; a beginning, a middle, and an end, leaving nothing to chance.
By viewing the scripting of a contact as writing a scene that is to be played out by characters within a play, you can detach from the natural social context of self and more completely engineer your “character’s” behavior and communication toward the optimization of influence. It further allows your character to be controlled by your will and not by reaction to environmental stimuli. This detachment of self allows you to assume a strictly objective and purely intellectual approach that will provide an overwhelming preponderance of reason and will promote intellectual agreement with your proposition on the part of your target.
This intellectual agreement, though important, is not enough to cause any real or measurable change in your target since it is simply a change in concept and does not have any outwardly substantial manifestation until some physical action is taken.
To best influence an action your character must be accepted by the target within the context of a relationship. Your relationship must be engaged by the target so that true emotional content is exchanged during the communication as well as basic information. In order to best capitalize on your own natural passions and your own social conditioning, YOU must first be convinced of the value proposition you are representing. You also must have a full confidence in your ability to fulfill the role your character seeks to represent. This personal engagement on your part allows you to properly communicate as your character through a personal understanding of the expectations and assumptions of your target. This fosters the establishment of genuine rapport based on a mutually accepted and shared worldview which defines the social group. The content of the script should not only tap into, but should fully utilize natural symbolic resonance by maintaining consistency with any already occurring descriptions of relationships between archetypes and symbolic narrations within a target’s cultural frame of reference. It is important to understand that emotions are a shared phenomenon propagated by communication between social creatures within a society. There is a natural and accepted mode of emotional expression and response between individuals within any given relationship, and most creatures will strive toward their perception of the most acceptable response within any social group they seek acceptance from.
Once the intellectual decision has been made, an action can be motivated by fueling the decision with emotion and giving the upwelling passions a channel for expression. This expression itself should be a highly controlled symbol rich analogy representing the attainment of the prescribed relationship and should culminate with the “action step”. This action step should satisfy the required emotional outlet on the part of the target, and receive the proper and expected social reaction and other outwardly supportive environmental stimuli experienced by the target.
Aligning your value proposition with the basic assumptions of the social group your audience seeks acceptance from, as well as those personally held by your target, will allow you to both intellectually and emotionally elevate your point of view over any question, argument, or objection considered. Without discarding the fundamental assumptions which would threaten their own social acceptance and overall worldview which is the basis of their character identity, your target cannot intellectually maintain any argument against the basic assertions and following chains of logic on which your value proposition is based. Being on the side of reason as well as in a position of emotional influence within a social structure assures a level of authority that is in fact only strengthened by being questioned. Once an agreement is intellectually reached the “action step” should be expediently taken or the decision can be undone simply by having it reframed in a forum or context that doesn’t allow for your direct influence. This is often the cause of “buyers remorse” and the unraveling of and backsliding of those who have been influenced and then go back to their original states. How many failed personal goals, dreams, and aspirations have fallen to this same reframing and justifying of our own original states? For this reason an action step has to be taken that commits the target to the new state and any subsequently required behaviors. Further, a structure for ongoing support that provides positive reenforcement and reward for the desired behavior on the part of the target should be used. But, unless no further action on the part of your target is desired, it is important not to reward the target to the point that you remove the original desire and source of motivation, unless there are other readily available motivating factors that can be used to drive further influence. Otherwise, the complacency of the target that caused lack of action before influence was exerted can simply reestablish itself within the new state after a minor level of initial action is taken. This can cause the reframing of your value proposition in a very skeptical and pessimistic light and can cause an actual backlash against your original value proposition as a reaction.
It is important to note that action is almost always an emotional endeavor and is more often undertaken from the reaction to negative emotional content than it is from a positive emotional aspiration. (people are more likely to run from pain than they are to run towards pleasure) Fear is therefore one of the strongest and most widely used final emotional triggers. (sometimes fear of rejection, fear of disappointment, fear of exposure, etc.) if a positive social reaction is used as a reward for action taken by your target after the initial agreement, the receptiveness of the target to your suggestion and the process of communication and compliance can be deeply ingrained into the psyche of the character identity held by your target within the social setting of your relationship.
When the desired new behavior is exhibited by your target, all care should be made to frame their perception of any and all resulting consequences of the new behavior (negative or positive) in a way that will be received as evidence of progress toward their desired paradigm. (The attainment of social acceptance as their desired role in the relationship within the context of the given scene). Their perception of their evolving character identity must be consistent with that which is symbolic of the original emotional impetus within the social setting that defines the context of the relationship. This type of social interaction provides the context for the targets evolving self image. The target should subconsciously associate the desired behavior and consciously attribute the resulting success with your original value proposition. The target being convinced that they are more accepted by their social group as a result of their behavior will then begin to see themselves as a champion of the original value proposition, further cementing the overall positive view of the decisions and behaviors that have been changed in the target due to your influence, and causing these behaviors to be habitually assimilated into your targets evolving character identity.
It is necessary to define the type of relationship sought between your character and your target. Relationships are by their nature complex, but by breaking a relationship down to simplistic descriptions and categories, general rules and expectations begin to become self apparent. By further developing terminology and nomenclature that describe the relationship, a standardized symbolic vocabulary can be developed that will aid in the communication of your desired influence as your desired character. This clarity of definition allows you to visualize the optimum exchange, provides a framework for the type of language used and rapport shared, and sets the stage for the utilization of other variables within the scene.
It is also important to note that all descriptions of relationship and their labels, nomenclature, definition, and interactions are subject to your targets personal interpretation. The common consensus of definitions within your target’s socio-cultural frame of reference can be a useful starting point for initial basic assumptions, but information received from your target during any rapport based communication should be used to properly gauge your targets actual idiosyncratic concepts of how a relationship is described and to properly adjust any factors of your communication that can be modified after it’s initial design. It is important to note that social definitions are dynamic and are themselves subject to influence. Definitions of abstract ideas as well as the interpretation and definition of symbolic meanings of concrete objects should not be seen as static or constant within the framework of your scene, but should be considered as objects that will interact with the scene based on certain preconceived solution sets that define behavior.
The relationship between your character and your target should not just be expressed as: buyer/seller, employer/employee, or customer/brand, etc., but should include descriptions of different aspect of common social archetypes, and should express considerations like polarity and social standing. A few common descriptions of roles within relationships are; leader, hero, mentor, guru, teacher, coach, student, follower, disciple, partner, sidekick, villain, rival, suitor, etc.
It is much easier to embody an already existing iconic and archetypal characteristic of your character within a relationship and allow your target to do the same while playing out the drama of the scene you are directing, than it is to reform your targets expectations and definition of that relationship, but sometimes it is necessary to replace your targets basic assumptions. This is a very complex subject and I will revisit this topic and cover in much greater depth in later articles.
This will conclude part one of this article. In part two I will cover different types of contacts, and media, as well as processes to control communication and more… Please feel free to comment, critique, or otherwise join in, and as always thank you!
